Monday, January 7, 2013

Back to my Real Life - Part I

(A Five Part Series on where I've been for the past 2 weeks)

Occasionally I say things that irritate even myself. My frequent use of the word "Like" drives me nuts but I can't seem to root it out of my vernacular. My ironic use of urban slang (Holla!, Booyah!, WhatWhat!) is super annoying, even to me, and yet I keep on using it because occasionally someone laughs. Right now, the most annoying thing that I keep on saying is, "When I grow up I want to be a __________." Here is the deal (dealio?): I am already grown up and I already have a vocation that requires 100% of my time, attention, focus and interest. When I turn my time over to the other desires of my heart - my real life suffers - therefore the end-result is a mixed bag of fulfillment and chaos. I have been swimming in this pool for the past two weeks (and I have to admit it was fun.)

The Meals
If I asked my kids to tell you about the meals I have prepared for them lately, they might appropriately ask you, "What meals?" I wouldn't even get mad at them for their exaggeration. String cheese, yogurt, apples and clementines have been the orders of the day and it wasn't until this morning when Michael asked me, "Mommy!? Is that sausage I smell cooking? It smells sooo good!" that I realized how much I have neglected their tummies.

The House
Lucy flat out refused to use our downstairs bathroom on Thursday because, "It was too messy." Need I say more about this?

My Husband
I have a really good husband. When talking numbers and figures, I would put him in the top 95th percentile of all husbands who have ever existed. However, nothing he did this week was good enough. He didn't cook enough, he didn't praise me enough, he was too late, he got up too early...... I didn't realize until I was ready to claw at his jugular with my crafting knife amid a haze of fiery tears that it wasn't him. I was stressed. Stressed to the Nth and he was the fall guy to my craziness.  I wasn't nurturing him, our relationship, our kids, our house, my relationship with the Lord......
I was doing it all for the egotistical desires of creative outlets.

So today my life returned to normal. I got up and prepared a hearty breakfast for the kids. We've said our prayers,  we've studied and grown in knowledge and interest. Never once (I mean that sincerely) have we raised our voices at one another and as I write this the children are playing nicely with their toys. I am thankful for the talents with which God has blessed me (and that I get to occasionally use) but I am humbly and forever grateful for this quiet, Grace-filled life that I lead in this house.

Tomorrow: When I grow up I want to be a Hairstylist.


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